the unfairness of it all

i was with my dad grocery shopping last sunday when, while absentmindedly perusing the shelves (hoping a random potentially yummy snack would materialize before my eyes), i saw this:



and all thoughts of potentially yummy snack (temporarily) disappeared from my mind, to be replaced by a question that has been burning and burning and burning (everything but the fat i have):

why?

WHY?

why is it that i can't have the problem that people who need this product have? WHY must i continue to wait for the perfect product that deals with the total opposite of their problem (and won't bankrupt me, kill me, keep me alive due to the massive amounts of methamphetamine, cause my heart to beat wildly though not at the sight of pretty things) ???

why am i pathologically incapable of JUST SAYING NO?

NO to food beer rice ice cream chocolates beer pasta cream potatoes beer?

marie france and belo group and whichever place it is developing non-invasive and painless techniques for people like me, PLEASE PLEASE WAIT.

i and my potentially healthy income from a future law practice am only a few years away!