parts of a story

there can never be just a beginning and an end to a story. word after word has been written about the value of a good beginning, the satisfaction of a good ending (happy or otherwise), but for uneducated, unerudite, unintellectual people like me, the part in between is what matters.

the in between is where you find out who the characters are and why they're in the story and why the story's being told in the first place. you see years into their pasts and the minutes of their presents and then you start getting the feel of the plot. the truth to any story is always somewhere in the middle.

i've been guilty of peeking at the end of any book i've read, but i've always just wanted the satisfaction of knowing the end might be something i like. cause then when i read the middle i can focus on the story. this might be a fallacious argument but really, in real life you have too many unexpected endings already.

a girl can't be blamed for wanting to see into the future.

but as with any story that any writer seeks to write, the endings are limitless.
the in between, where the story gets told, decides how it ends.

so you, you.

my faith in my god has been forged out of unbelievable pain and unforgettable sadness and heartbreaking love and never-ending goodbyes and all the little things that make you stumble and bleed.

and it's made stronger by the fact that i have been blessed in so many other ways and that i have always relied on him and always felt his forgiveness and his love and yes, in moments of weakness i have railed at him and blamed him but in the end, i believe in him enough to talk to him.

i've had a few words with him since then, trust me, for this.

my past is my past and nothing can ever be done to change that. i have made bad choices and gone down a lot of wrong paths and i have hurt not a few people in the years i have lived. but i have tried to be better in the present and end each day with the knowledge that i did my best.

to have people dissect me and criticize me and disapprove of me because of you...wow. what an in between to forget.

to deny that that is what happened, to say that the summary is nothing..wow.

and for you to say to my face that those in betweens never existed in your copy of the script, when really, where else would i have gotten them from? i have some imagination, but not that much.

to tell me that my anger is unfounded and my sadness is my-mind-produced and the disappointment is undeserved is, really, umbelievable.

the ending is in some ways not what i wanted it to be, but in some ways exactly what i think it should be. i have no problem with the ending, yeah well maybe a bit of a problem. i'll be fair about that.

but the in between. damn that in between.