conversations, and ditziness as a side-dish.
was having a nice long overdue long chat with carolina marie my erstwhile lesbian lover (heehee to family members who might be whacked out enough to believe this it's not true) yesterday, continued today, and to be continued on monday.
we talked about abandonment, also known as "blockmate who abandons you and your study sessions for love of her life"and how since she has abandoned me i have been drowning my sorrows in alcohol and food. okay hello in anticipation of her violent reaction, i concede the fact that i was drowning myself in alcohol and food way before that.
we talked about guys in our lives, the guy in her life right now, the guy who was a temporary blip in my un-religious radar, and certain people i may or may not be interested in right now. while this is the 21st century and all, there are still lines i don't cross. like being the first one to make intentions known. so however much i like the guy, i can only smile so much hahaha.
we talked about enemies, known and unknown, in-your-face or the wussy variety, guys who pretend it's manly to pick on people not their own size, people who talk about you like they know you well enough to criticize you, and how it would be so much fun to just, i don't know, KILL them.
we talked about friends, and how sometimes you'd like them to be more than that, but there are things that just aren't meant to go your way. but heehee...still...fun.
we talked about law school, and how really the things that worry us the most about it aren't the profs and the grades though if the profs don't like us and our grades suck our respective law school graduate dads will give us something to worry about. we worry about happiness!!!! and our eternal quest for it.
then somehow someway before we parted, conversation found its way back to friends and guys and how certain people of that group think of us as ditzes.
while i had not less than a few moments' thought about the implications of that kind of perception of me, my erstwhile LL (carolina marie) gave it no thought other than to say "so what?!?!"
which i now repeat.
so what????
ditziness is happiness. if i'm a little too happy for your taste, sorry nalang. i like law school, i like most of the professors, i like most of the people, i adore my block, i love the drinking with the law school people part, and the only thing that's cause for concern is the lack of good food.
and sounding like a ditz comes part and parcel with the acting ditzy part. as someone (who should, now that civ pro is a distant memory, and a distant future worry, start drinking with us) said, it's not such a bad thing.
i'd rather smile all day and read what i need to read and laugh when i feel like it and drink with happy company and read inane books and dance to happy music and yes, eat and as a necessary consequence, get fat.
i really suck at the intellectual schtick, and pretense gives me zits.
we talked about abandonment, also known as "blockmate who abandons you and your study sessions for love of her life"and how since she has abandoned me i have been drowning my sorrows in alcohol and food. okay hello in anticipation of her violent reaction, i concede the fact that i was drowning myself in alcohol and food way before that.
we talked about guys in our lives, the guy in her life right now, the guy who was a temporary blip in my un-religious radar, and certain people i may or may not be interested in right now. while this is the 21st century and all, there are still lines i don't cross. like being the first one to make intentions known. so however much i like the guy, i can only smile so much hahaha.
we talked about enemies, known and unknown, in-your-face or the wussy variety, guys who pretend it's manly to pick on people not their own size, people who talk about you like they know you well enough to criticize you, and how it would be so much fun to just, i don't know, KILL them.
we talked about friends, and how sometimes you'd like them to be more than that, but there are things that just aren't meant to go your way. but heehee...still...fun.
we talked about law school, and how really the things that worry us the most about it aren't the profs and the grades though if the profs don't like us and our grades suck our respective law school graduate dads will give us something to worry about. we worry about happiness!!!! and our eternal quest for it.
then somehow someway before we parted, conversation found its way back to friends and guys and how certain people of that group think of us as ditzes.
while i had not less than a few moments' thought about the implications of that kind of perception of me, my erstwhile LL (carolina marie) gave it no thought other than to say "so what?!?!"
which i now repeat.
so what????
ditziness is happiness. if i'm a little too happy for your taste, sorry nalang. i like law school, i like most of the professors, i like most of the people, i adore my block, i love the drinking with the law school people part, and the only thing that's cause for concern is the lack of good food.
and sounding like a ditz comes part and parcel with the acting ditzy part. as someone (who should, now that civ pro is a distant memory, and a distant future worry, start drinking with us) said, it's not such a bad thing.
i'd rather smile all day and read what i need to read and laugh when i feel like it and drink with happy company and read inane books and dance to happy music and yes, eat and as a necessary consequence, get fat.
i really suck at the intellectual schtick, and pretense gives me zits.
posted by peach at 3:03 AM
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