nothing, really.
so i was at home this sunday (an occasion which my father-the eternal stand-up comedian-deemed worthy of comment...har har) and i spent the day watching tv and having yet another aimless dinner table conversation with my equally dumb blonde sisters and then it came to me at around three in the morning...
nothing, really.
we are now reduced to passing each other in the hallway like strangers and talking to mutual friends but not to each other and being...
nothing.
and that realization is bitter and sweet (bittersweet wahahahaha) at the same time as i acknowledge the fact that this situation may just be the best thing for me and my prone to breaking heart.
how do you tell someone you care and then days after say it doesn't matter? like you said, some things are meant to never be understood.
and really, whatever the explanation is that you might eventually give, i will never understand.
and as this year begins to end and the days that i see you for this seemingly godforsaken year (for me) pass into memory, i wonder what the next year will bring for us.
feelings never die or disappear. they just fade. and when they do you wonder what it was they meant when you had them.
i feel like a total tool for remembering a quote from, from all places, a cop show. but right now it highlights exactly what i'm thinking....
what did they mean?
whatever the future holds i rest easy with this part of my past knowing that they meant something real to me, and in the end i did say what i mean and mean what i say. (or said)
but as a person who has always been victim to emotion and passion without much reason, i will never be able to discard what i had for you. they will always be here, with me, and i will come across you in hallways and remember, once upon a time...
it wasn't nothing.
nothing, really.
we are now reduced to passing each other in the hallway like strangers and talking to mutual friends but not to each other and being...
nothing.
and that realization is bitter and sweet (bittersweet wahahahaha) at the same time as i acknowledge the fact that this situation may just be the best thing for me and my prone to breaking heart.
how do you tell someone you care and then days after say it doesn't matter? like you said, some things are meant to never be understood.
and really, whatever the explanation is that you might eventually give, i will never understand.
and as this year begins to end and the days that i see you for this seemingly godforsaken year (for me) pass into memory, i wonder what the next year will bring for us.
feelings never die or disappear. they just fade. and when they do you wonder what it was they meant when you had them.
i feel like a total tool for remembering a quote from, from all places, a cop show. but right now it highlights exactly what i'm thinking....
what did they mean?
whatever the future holds i rest easy with this part of my past knowing that they meant something real to me, and in the end i did say what i mean and mean what i say. (or said)
but as a person who has always been victim to emotion and passion without much reason, i will never be able to discard what i had for you. they will always be here, with me, and i will come across you in hallways and remember, once upon a time...
it wasn't nothing.
posted by peach at 9:51 PM
1 Comments:
heya peach. guess i found my way to your blog after all. :)
there's not much choice to it, but i just (have to) keep hoping that someday, someday SOONGADEMIT, the-guy-that's-only-for-me and i will just magically run into each other and gaze entranced into each other's magical eyes and fall in love and live happily ever after, amen. and nothing will ever have to fade, or reverse itself, or contradict itself, or otherwise confuse me.
someday SOONGADEMIT (just for emphasis).
feel free to join me in the hoping. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home