to YOU...

god.

if only you'd just seen fit to not choose this particular trial to throw my way.

if only you'd just taught me whatever lesson it is that you wanted to teach me in a different manner.

if only you'd just leave my heart alone and try not to test it with the wrong ones.

if only you hadn't answered the first of my prayers back then.

if only you'd just said, found a way to say, that this isn't something you're supposed to win, just give up.

if only you'd just said, this one isn't a keeper. this one is a lesson you're supposed to learn.

if only your signs were a bit more obvious in pointing to the other direction.

if only.

cause now all i have to show for it is sadness and this unexplainable heaviness that i can explain actually by admitting that yes...once again, i played the fool to your wise wise man.

but i'm not mad. it's all good. cause you know me.

i'll play the fool for you anytime.