summer revisited

so...

that summer, when we indulged in not so PG messages and dancing and drinking and being beside each other.

that summer, so totally whack so totally crazy like even the smallest of grins from you would be a ray of freakin sunshine.

that summer, when it was dangerously like friendship was more than it should be, less than what could be.

that summer, when we had a few of them talking about dangerous things.

that summer, when i was half in love half in lust and half going crazy cause somehow someway in that way that you feel like it's not pure platonic shit i felt you.

then all shitty hell broke loose and i left without resolution, left without goodbye.

and the time since then that i saw you, did you miss me? at all? even a bit?

then that night that it seemed right for your hand to find mine and that kiss that was wildfire and the impish grin that i knew was for me.

that night that turned to morning and beside me you were smiling in the way that those frustrated with situations they can't really control smile.

that summer and that night...

seemed just about the same.

if only i could find out what you were thinking right now. if only there was a way that He could give me a hint, give me what i want, what i've wanted so bad since that summer.

if only timing wasn't everything in that serious way of everything.

if only.

cause even if, only even if, i could get more than that so concrete feel of what i wanted for more than that night.

that summer, and that night.