and to you

while i'm at it, i won't stop with just berating the deep-fried-brain-ed idiot i once cared about and i was once friends with.

let's take this moment to talk about you.

since the day we were introduced (and you saw me with deep fried and you told mutual friends that it was so obvious what was going on between me and DF) you've been hovering in the periphery of any situation i'd be in with DF. what's with that? i wondered. then you started staying nearby, offering rides home (convenient no?), being all cowboy about eating down-home e.coli carrier pizza, showing up after hours to propose some wild ride early midnight breakfast shit. then one time when i was still with DF he goes and tells me you told him i slowed him down. what's up with that? i wondered.

i wonder no more.

i am finally listening to the voices of the many girls and friends who told me you were after him too. i am finally listening to my voice of reason telling me that hey, them's the shits, she's after what you have. girls fight dirty to get their guys.

gotta hand it to you though.

you insidiously slipped your shitty piece of malice disguised as opinion into his small paranoid over-thinking deep fried mind and stayed around to play catch with his ever wandering libido.

thing is, you didn't even have to do that.

all you had to do was ask.

now you have him and you can enjoy him, and without any fear or apprehension that your ass will receive a sound kicking from me. you're lucky in fact. cause all them religious people friends in his life who didn't approve of me with him are on leashes. one's taken and busy, the other's been effectively muzzled. so you won't get the "my friends don't approve of evil catholics" schtick, you lucky dog of the female variety you.

lady, you're gonna get yours. but bad. but promise. i won't derive happiness from it. i'm not that deprived of a life.