it's over!!!!!

the past few weeks have been hell on my nerves, and as much as i would dearly love to say that i'm not to blame, as much as it totally sucks to say it, i am.

because i should've just held my ground, not said anything, not to anyone, and stood up for myself when the situation called for it.

because i should know by now. you don't want to test loyalties when you're not sure where loyalties lie in the first place.

because i have a big mouth, and while it helps me delay the onset of my bipolarity it gets me into a lot of trouble, especially when i test those loyalties and when someone's listening i didn't know.

because i could've just held on...a bit longer...and not endangered and ended the friendships i inherited through my sister and tried to earn by myself.

but well.

this is the path i walked, and while many words were said, many people alienated, many many MANY mistakes were made, many a day was spent troubled and crying, i can console myself by saying:

IT'S OVER.

what's done is done, and you can't go back.

the people i lost, i never had them. the words i said, to the best of what i know to be true(hehe labo) i will stand by them. those tears, chalked up to experience.

and the best thing is...

now i know. and those friends who were there, who i let down, who still stayed, who believed,

i owe you.

some people might think i'm ecstatic about the outcome, that i feel totally utterly vindicated, well...

bahala kayo. believe what you want.

i'm done.

so thanks, ate 'sanne-and sorry, my adoptive parents faye and charles, the outspoken ate vivs, kuya mon and ate nayna, benyamin, and the Bibo Block.

to my ateles. war or not, peace or not, still. kuya aman. basta.