slipping like freud?

so a while ago i was chatting with someone and i realized a couple of sentences after that the word i wrote was wrong.

i corrected it as soon as i saw it, though sure enough the person i was messaging caught the error and called me on it. his read of the mistake, given our history, made me question if like freud i was slipping all over the place.

i dunno how my brain connects to my fingers at times, but in case i really am a freudian case study i will not even bother to deny anything. (and you, you imaginative mind you, if you read this, go and gloat)

then looking at the status message displayed on the icon beside my name and seeing that it said available, i wondered again. like friendster where from your profile you can choose to indicate your status with "single" or "in a relationship" or "married" or "domestic partnership" or "it's complicated", what are you really saying?

available (and looking pa!)

single (and really really desperate)

single (and looking but not really)

single (thank god! have you seen the poor excuses for the male species tht have been walking the planet lately?ew!)

single (i might consider a relationship. or a fling. or a date.)

single (don't even think about it)

single ( just got dumped)

single (just dumped someone)

single (i played the field but the field played me better)

in a relationship (and happy that i am)

in a relationship (i took the first offer there was)

in a relationship (and looking to get out)

in a relationship (i'd rather say i'm single except the significant other caught me and now i've to say i'm taken.)
married (just last week)

married(and regretting the day i said i do)

married (with children)

married (but open to the idea of a fling)

married (and forever i will be) also known as (i caught myself a good one and i'll be damned if i let this one out back to sea)

domestic partnership (who am i kidding? it's called sex without marriage and property woes)

domestic partnership (living together and close to taking that next step)

domestic partnership (i do the dishes, he takes out the trash)

domestic partnership (just roommies really, but who needs to know?)

it's complicated (we're still together but it can go either way)

it's complicated (this is a preemptive strike. clean up or pack up)

it's complicated (i'm being punished. or i'm punishing someone)

it's complicated (we're kinda together, but not really)

it's complicated (does having a lot of sex on a regular basis with the same person but with an express agreement to not commit count?)

while i know that some people change their status indicators as often as they log on, some people take it seriously. when they say in a relationship, it's like "hands off". you would not believe how miserable i felt when i saw the status of two stalk-ees change years ago.

i changed mine last year and haven't seen the need to change it again since then. it's funny how many people found out i broke up with someone through friendster and how some people took a chance and asked me out based on that tiny status thing.

indicators like that, like testimonials given to crushes when you're taken already, are a very dangerous thing.

very very dangerous. seeing as there are no qualifications you can put, to show your level of satisfaction with given status. anyways, getting caught up again.

was thinking...the first time i put that i was in a relationship, i felt comfort. security. happiness. and as time went by, testament to my almost guy-ness, i started feeling that choked feeling. then went i went single, it felt like such a relief. i felt freedom. and happiness too. and like i said, i still feel that way.

and every now and then when i find myself in a situation that is deserving of a status indicator like "it's complicated" (choose the parenthetical statement), i still retain the single indicator. cause eing single i, for me, right now, where i'm at in my life, happiness. complications will abound, and to tell the truth some complications are interesting thoughts to keep, i like the part where i keep people guessing.